Bourne Again

Come witness the rebirth of the action genre. Forget the bald grandpa in Die Hard and screw those ridiclous anime rip-offs in Transformers. There's only one true awakening this summer and it's through the salvation of Bourne.

The third installment that, unlike other '07 summer trilogy finales, promises to be just as good or even better than the last, The Bourne Ultimatum is assuredly going to be the most fulfilling summer movie of 2007. Directed by the talented Paul Greengrass (The Bourne Supremacy, United 93, Bloody Sunday), this movie will slap that bitter pirate taste left in your mouth. Now, I admit that Knocked Up (one of the best of the year so far) was the only su-mo I saw but everything else seemed to reek of the bad 'B's (Bruckheimer and Bay). That's why, given the history of the Bourne franchise and the eye-locking direction of Greengrass, Ultimatum should provide those who seek more than played-out plots, goofy costumes, CGI and THX raping of the senses, and one-dimensional models trained by watching The OC.

Don't get me wrong, the Die Hard movies were a childhood staple but McClane in Live Free or Die Hard looks like he needs a cane while Bourne will use a cane to snap a foe's femur. Robots in disguise excited me as a 6 year old but 20 years older, I need demonstrations on how to make pesky villians bleed using Office Depot products to tickle my fancy. I'll probably get a few kicks from Transformers from when I eventually get around to watching it but the thought of contributing money to a super-hack like this douchebag makes think of the pain I felt during his P.O.S. Pearl Harbor. For your sake, Michael Bay, I hope Bourne doesn't think you had something to do with his f'd up past.

The Shield: Mackey is dead!

Vic Mackey is dead! Or that's how he appears in the lastest episodes of "The Shield" Season 6. His relentless search for Lem's killer has made him a reckless and souless vigilante with no regard for his life and those he believed are involved. He won't stop until he's dead or justice has been served. Whatever the case, he's falling deeper into an abyss that is devouring his soul! So whether or not he satisfies his thirst for revenge and physically survives, whatever chances he had of living an honest and content life is dwindling.

Ironically, Shane is potentially his only savior. His ex-wife wants to ensure his safety but only Shane holds the truth to setting Vic's soul free from his revenge prison. The consequences of Shane telling Vic the truth are unpredictable but I think Vic won't actually kill Shane and will instead accept his responsibility as Shane's mentor. However, Shane was spared once by Vic, does he have enough mercy to do it again? Ohh, man! This show is freakin' awesome!

Celebrity Duets

I guess Simon agrees that his new show, Celebrity Duets, sucks. I only caught a minute or two of the show (it was all I could tolerate) so I guess I really shouldn't criticize - but I will anyway. It was so cheesy and not in a good way. So You Think You Can Dance is a fairly campy, cheesy show, but it's fun and entertaining. You just feel sorry for the F-list "celebrities" on this show because you know they'll do anything to get some publicity.

Shame on Fox for giving them the opportunity.

Burger With a Side of Pubes

This past weekend, Allen was sweet enough to plan a trip to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. I'm really not as enthusiastic about "wild" animals as Allen is, but it's a nice zoo. They seem to treat the animals very kindly and the animals have lots of land and the elephants can dance so it was a fun time for all. After our suburban-safari exursion, we stopped in San Juan Capistrano for a some dinner.

You can probably guess from the topic that this is where the night goes awry. We stopped at a chain-diner (it was late, no other choices were available, cut us some slack). Said diner is named after a woman, whose name begins with an R and ends with uby's.

I order a mushroom-swiss burger. I take two bites and surprise! A dark, thick, semi-curled hair stares back at me. Needless to say, I was throughly grossed out. Maybe if it were clearly a head-hair or an eyelash, I could have demanded a new burger and been satisfied. I realize *stuff* happens. However, when the hair looks as if it fell fresh off the ass-tree, my appetite is killed. The manager gave me another burger (that I couldn't eat) and it was taken off our bill (which is all you can really ask of a joint once a hair has been found), but we shant be returning to Ruby's anytime soon- or ever.

Ingenious New Nintendo Console -- "Wii" can save our thumbs!

When I was a litle kid, I remember watching my dad play "Stampede" on the Atari 500. I was amazed at his display of brute exertion in order to will the horserider towards the scurrying cattle. Over a period of time, the poor joystick would become mangled because my pops bent the crap out of it so much so that the rubber coating came off exposing the white plastic stick. Now, anyone who has played video games knows that bending and jerking the controller does not affect the outcome of the game but people still do it anyway. That is why the next generation Nintendo video game console called Wii (pronounced "we") will preserve its controllers and prevent callouses on over-extended thumbs worldwide.

What makes the Nintendo Wii so different is that it has a wireless controller that acts like a wand. If you're playing a tennis game, you'll physically swing the controller to hit a virtual ball. You'll also be able to slash away at zombies, rally your car through rough terrain, or compete in the Summer Olympics all through the physical use of the unique Wii controller. One console allows up to 4 people to play at once so you'll have to make sure to put Nemo and his fish bowl a safe distance away from your Pete Sampras-smash.

Hopefully the Wii will be out by the end of 2006 and it shouldn't burn a hole in your pocket as much as the 360 or PS3. Heck, I'd get the system for Super Smash Bros. Brawl alone! My thumbs will thank me for it.

Check out the official Wii site here

Emmy Time

We caught most of the Emmy's last night (mostly for Conan- we love him!). I may be biased due to my Conan-love, but I thought the Emmy's were funnier than past shows. As usual, I wasn't entirely pleased with who won - I mean really, Huff? Does anyone watch that? Why was Arrested Development even nominated? No one watches it, it got cancelled; the logical conclusion is that no one cares. I can't believe that guy from Monk won. Steve Carrel should have taken that Emmy home - he's absolutely hilarious on The Office.
Ellen Pompeo
When will she employ the talents of a stylist? If she is paying someone to style her, someone should be fired. This is at least the second red-carpet look that has not been good. I don't think I've worn my hair like that since 6th grade, plus it looks like it's pulled back so tight it'd give her a headache. Her dress is...crushed velvet? Ugh. We should give her some credit for not being totally emaciated anymore though: keep up the eatin' Ellen.

Jeremy Piven
Who doesn't love his portrayal of Ari on Entourage? One question though: who helped him get ready today? It seems he couldn't find the time to comb his hair or shave. To make matters worse, he was obviously confused as to what to do with the ascot and, unfortunately, never figured it out. Very cute that he brought his mama as his date though.

Thanks to E!Online for the photos.

Pandora

is a really cool Website. You type in a favorite song or artist and the program will create a station based on that choice. It'll play music of the same genre. It's free, although you do have to register as a member. Once you've got your music station going, you can tailor your musical likes and dislikes by giving songs a thumbs up or down. There are ads in the window, but I always minimize it, so it doesn't affect me anyway. So far I haven't heard any audio ads so there are no disruptions. It's a neat way to find new music and it's better than most free streaming music programs b/c there are no commericials. Enjoy!

Tom-Horse

As you now know, I have no lovey feelings for Tom Cruise. So this picture completely and utterly delighted me:
Enough said, really.

*Thanks to Defamer for this entertaining image.

Survive by Race?

I must say, I am equal parts intrigued and disgusted by Survivor-producers' new plan to divide the teams up by race. I probably still won't watch the show, but if you decide to, I'd love juicy updates on how the format is working.

The disgusted part of me is reminded of the days when plantation owners would divide their teams up by race/ethnicity so that workers/slaves wouldn't band together and strike. Instead, by paying certain teams more or putting one team in charge of another, racial tension built up and diverted the attention away from tyrannical bosses.

But I wonder if race relations are still the same today. Will the teams learn from the past and keep race out of it, or will they play their race cards just as producers hope?

Enough of the serious talk. I am amused by the idea of this South Park episode (it was sent to Defamer by one of their readers):

Frisbee Golf -- the affordable game

Yup, Frisbee golf is exactly what it sounds like. You're on a field with 9 or 18 holes but instead of using a golf ball and clubs, you're using a frisbee disc and your meat hooks. Cost of a golf disc? Under $20 bucks for a pretty decent one. Cost of a set of golf clubs? Half my paycheck. Plus you have to pay a membership fee at a golf course and lessons if you don't want to keep making grass salads. Bottom line, golf is way too expensive for someone waist-deep in student loans.
Instead, try frisbee golf. It's easy to learn, fun to play, and best of all, it's dirt cheap. There's a good chance that you live near a frisbee golf course (check out the link below) so bring some friends or family and toss it up! By the way, you still yell "fore!" to warn others of a loose disc - I wish someone had told me that earlier because I almost clunked a dude napping under a tree.

click here for a disc golf course near you

Tom Cruise Gets Dumped

I guess Paramount doesn't agree with Tom's off-screen antics. Can you blame them? I wouldn't feel comfortable investing with him either. When it comes to money, Hollywood big-wigs aren't willing to take a chance. Who knows when audiences will be offended enough to stop paying to watch his movies.

I know it's silly, but I stopped watching his films after he hooked up with Penelope "Pinched Bird Face" Cruz. She irritates me to high heaven!Anyway, now I'm pleased again.

Teen Choice Awards 2006

I caught tidbits of last night's TCA (Allen was pulling his hair out, forbidding me to watch). I didn't really want to watch the whole thing, but I just had to see Mr. Spears' world-premier-TCA-exclusive performance of his aptly titled single, "Lose Control". Mrs. Spears was nice enough to waddle on stage to introduce her "man" and blab on about how the TCA's helped her career and she hopes it will do the same for her hubby. In all honesty, he wasn't as bad as I thought it he was goign to be. He wasn't good, I certainly wouldn't call him talented, but seeing as I'm not a huge fan of rap, I thought he was on par with the rest of the crappy rappers we've seen of late (Ne-Yo anyone?). One question: he's supposed to be a dancer, right? That's how he wiggled his way into Britney's pants? Where was the dancing last night? All I saw was the standard crotch-grabbing move.

Celebrity Swag Tax

In college, I interned with a company that produced gift lounges and gift bags for high profile events. It was an interesting line of work and I learned very quickly to bite my tongue and smile. Yes, I used to be a swag-bag-schleper.

As I recently read on Defamer, Uncle Sam wants a piece of the swag action. I always found it so ironic that celebrites were gifted when they're the people who can actually afford these ridiculously luxurious products. Paul Mitchell shampoo for your pooch? You got it. Swarovski crystal-encrusted flip-flops? Free, if you're regularly featured in the tabloids. When I was at Sundance, one celeb proudly bragged that she had bagged over $100,000 worth of goodies within a couple days of being there.

I love that celebrities will now have to pay something for all those fabulous items.

*Btw, there are a handful of stars who pick up gifts so they can donate them to charity, and that's always a nice thing to do*

GBX ninja shoes

I discovered these awesome shoes in my Men's Health magazine (an excellent read by the way). They're probably the best shoes that I have ever worn! For little over $60 bucks (at DSW) you can get a really cool pair of shoes that are extremely comfortable and versatile. I call them "ninja" shoes because they are so quiet you could sneak up on anyone and assassinate them Jack Bauer style.


Believe me, I've never been a shoe guy, but I gotta admit these make my other tennis shoes look like freeway finds. For you dudes (or ladies looking to makeover your men) out there looking for some cool, affordable shoes that fit well and can go with almost any style, check out these GBX "ninja" shoes. Once you put them on, you'll find the urge to stealthfully approach your enemies like Snake from Metal Gear. Try not to do it to your dog, roomate, or girlfriend because they can bite.

check out the GBX website for other colors

So You Think You Can Dance

Aw...Benji looks so serious in this photo. It's because he doesn't know that he's won the competition yet! I'm slightly embarrassed to report that I called in to vote for Benji about 40 times last week. He was, by far, my favorite dancer since the beginning of the show. He's a tad cheesy (I think it originates from his West Coast Swing style of dance), but for some reason it didn't really bother me.

I just might drag Allen to Vegas and see if we can score tickets to Celine Dion's uber-concert. OR we can go see the Top Ten on tour. Whoopee!

SexyBack

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not a big fan of the whole boy-band thing. However, I just watched Justin Timberlake's latest video for his single SexyBack and I must say (sorry Allen) that he is looking pretty good.

Although perhaps I'm just thinking that because the style-bar was set so incredibly low:

Financial Planning?

Ever put your business card into one of those bins at the local restaurants, hoping to win a free lunch? A co-worker of mine did exactly that and won! Plus, he got to bring 9 of his closest friends. The catch? The lunch is sponsored by a financial planning firm and you have to listen to them blab on about financial goals and responsibility for about 10 minutes. Not too bad, but not exactly the *free* we had in mind.

Either way, I got hooked at that free lunch. I allowed myself to get suckered into making an appointment to speak with these money-fellows and dragged Allen with me yesterday night to go over our financial hopes and dreams. Now we've got to shell out $425 so that they can analyze what few assests we have and tell us how much we need to save each month, where to invest our pennies etc. The fee covers the analysis, plan and follow-up for one year. I'll keep you posted and let you know if we love it or not.

Hamster Haven

This is Philip, the school pet, who lives and plays right by my desk at work. He's a dwarf hamster who pretty much spends his time eating, sleeping, and grooming himself for the hamster babes. Up until today, he's lived in a typical hamster cage with a ramp that leads to his food bowl and a wheel that he only uses to pee on, which makes him look like a lemonade snowcone after he gets off.

But now, one of my co-workers bought him an extravagant hamster haven! It has two cages, one large and one small, that are connected by a plastic tube and the larger cage has a tube that leads to the attic of his new mansion. He also has a third tube that goes straight up to his lookout turret! In addition to all that, Philip has some fancy cotton that he absolutely loves. He'll immediately start clawing and molding away like Picasso on a caffiene binge. It's pretty amazing how lively he is because he was pretty chill until he got his new digs. Wow, now that I think about it hamsters and humans are more alike than I realized, because hamsters like bigger, better stuff just like humans, and there are humans who look just like hamsters!

Anyway, if you don't have any pets and want some creature company but are scared about the responsibility, then try getting a hamster. Philip is easier to take care of than a pet rock. Food and water can last days but you can experiment with a variety of veggies and fruits (watch out for poisonous ones) each day. Like I said earlier, Philip is a neat freak so the only cleaning you do is change the bedding once a week and wipe down the cage maybe once a month. He only makes small noises when he's scratching or gnawing on something so you don't have worry about bugging neighbors or sleepless nights. I know some people don't like rat-like critters and I didn't really care for them either until Philip came into my life. That little guy has made it a little easier to get to work on time! Plus, look at that neato cage you can get. Imagine it being part of a whole hamster metropolis with tubes and corridors galore! Getting excited?

Also, one more thing to share about Big Pimpin' Philip. I don't mind it when he poops on me, I take it as a sign of him being comfortable with me. Can you think of anyone being comfortable enough to poop around or even on? Pretty short list, isn't? So make sure you give the hamster a second thought next time you're at the pet store or downtown L.A. You never know just how much you appreciate getting crapped on until it's done by a loving hamster.

For more fabulous information on hamster care, check out this website:

http://exoticpets.about.com/cs/hamsters/a/hamstercare.htm

Organization

I absolutely love organizing my belongings. This weekend Allen and I went to Ikea to shop for matching dressers. Now, I know what you're all thinking: Ikea furniture is usually total crap. But we went to a thrift store and saw that old, beat-up, used dressers were over $200! If we were to get a nice, brand spankin' new dresser at a real furniture place, it'd cost us at least $200 if not more. No thank you. I'll take my crappy, assemble-it-yourself dresser and wait for it to fall apart in a few years. Then I'll go buy another one.

So in addition to the new dressers we picked up a nifty little product called Komplement. They come flat and you zip them up to create boxes of various sizes. They're designed to fit into most Ikea dressers, and they did indeed "Komplement" ours. I spent much of my Saturday evening building my new dresser, zipping up my boxes, and rolling up my undies. Fun, right? You bet! You have no idea what pleasure it gave me to see my glossy new dresser filled up and perfectly organized.

Eggs!

My good friend Helly (an outspoken egg-lover) passed this video clip along to me. It's now the go-to source I turn to when I need a quick cheering-up. Is it ridiculous? Yes. Does it makes me smile? Absolutely.

What are you in love with? It can be anything from a hot new beauty product, a classic movie, a thrilling book, or even an egg!

Have something you think others will fall in love with? Share!
*No stalker material please*